Category Archives: Psychology

When Dreams Come True

Well well well…. its been a while I haven’t talked about anything on my lovely blog… haha… 😀

Well, today its kind of big day, actually no, its kind of bigger day for me. Why? You might be thinking why? Well, answer is simply the title of this article. Yes, when dreams come true… So, you haven’t asked it yet, but I am sure that you would be thinking about dreams or maybe dream which came true. So, let’s see them then.

Life is tough and complicated when you choose path of achieving some goal and making some dreams true. There are lots of problems and obstacles which tackle you, make you slow, even stop you or simply misguide you in wrong direction so that you can’t get your goals. Now, that’s how I am feeling about it. Its been almost 2 years literally and I am waiting for this day. And then finally and atlast the day came today and dreams came true.
So, what you think guys, what would I be feeling? Well, thanks to GOD, my family, my friends, all those who helped me through this directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally, and You guys….. I finally did it.

I would like to thanks to all who supported me directly or indirectly, but I would like to thanks more to those who didn’t help me, because they taught me some very important lessons of life. Thanks.

But, is this end?
Ofcourse not, this isn’t an end. Its the start of very long journey. Life is gift, and gift is precious to everyone. So is to me as well. But, you feel more alive when you make your life better on your own guts by your own hardwork. I have been dreaming all the life for something really really big. I don’t know whether I can get it or not, whether i will get it or not, but I am trying and I will keep trying it until life is over. Sometimes, my friends or my own tell me about my dreams and say that its impossible dream to accomplish. You shouldn’t be supposed to work on impossible dream at all. And, instantly i say:

Dreams aren’t supposed to be classified on some criteria like this is possible and this is not. What i can do about my dreams is to try and work hard even harder when it seems to be impossible. I will die trying rather than keep quite and do nothing thinking that its impossible.

According to my life experience, when you choose path of achieving some dream, then a lot of things will try to stop you for various reasons. I observed that whatever you do, the very first one to question you is your spouse. Next in the list is parent or gaurdian, and finally your surrounding like friends, neighborhood, society etc. Its not like you ignore everyone, and choose path of achieving your goals. If i would do like this, let’s say i get my dreams, then what? I got none to share my success with.

when it comes to achieving goals, then there are two kinds of people. Those who step on others’ shoulders and move up, and those who on their guts and hard work goes up.

Well, i am talking about this dream for 2 years. What really I saw regarding changes in my circle. At very first, people in my circle appreciated me, motivated me, became happy, even said to pray for me. Gradually, I always used to say same thing over and over again, and people instead of motivation, they used to laugh at me and say something like you have been talking about it for a while. Saying is easy and doing is the hard thing. I took them as positive and increased my motivation. Some other time spent, and same people started making fun on me like repeating my dream in teasing style and they were hurting me indirectly and my motivation was decreasing. What I did was again to speak same dream over and over again. I used to speak it because sharing dreams with others was giving me motivation. During all time, some people even tried to lend me help, i wanted to take it but i was in no situation of taking it. You know how risk management works. So, it was almost there, and people even used hursh words this time like you can’t do anything, you are all just talk and nothing more. Literally, this incident really hurt me very deeply. I was so much demotivated and discouraged that i changed my plans and so the dreams. I started to ask people that will you like me when i forget my dreams and do some other thing instead. Haha, now same people are saying stuff like are you crazy, why you are thinking like that, you can’t do that etc. So, i really don’t get the point. When you were following your dreams, people were stopping you directly or indirectly, and when you thought of leaving it, same people asked you and pushed you to your dreams. I really didn’t get the point. What i did was that i stopped speaking about my dreams with others, and was working harder silently. Though it was quite hard and tough one for me to keep silence, but i did it. And, thanks to ALLAH, i did it. Those people are really proud of it, and those are creating roles of how they helped me through this journey, and share my success. I don’t mind it.

When you choose to follow dreams, people will stop you. When you think of stopping it, people will push you towards dreams or pull you out of it saying you are taking right step. And when you finally stop it, they will make fun of you and will say something like see, i told you earlier, or i already knew you haven’t got guts to do it, or share your story as bad example to learn from with others.
I will say only thing. No matter what they say, you just have to move forward and don’t look back. It is hard path even for a very little dream but you just have to make it true. At end, when you achieve your dream, those same people will be proud of you and will share your story with others.

I am glad that i did it. It was my first step to my life. Still a lot of path is left. It was just start. And thanks to all those people, who stopped me along my way, made fun of me, laughed at me, teased me, because they made me realize that how hard whole path is when taking first step is like this. Thanks and a big applause to all of those people.

More thanks to those, who believed me, appreciated me, motivated me, guide me. I am really thankful to all such guys. Hats off to you for listening my senseless dreams and believing on me and showing positive feedback. I can’t forget it whole life. Thanks For reading this.

Wajahat KArim

Remaining Always Motivated – 2

Hey guys!!! I am back again with our hot topic of blog: Remaining Always Motivated. This is the second part of the article called as Remaining Always Motivated – 1.

In the first part, I disused about internal and external motivation. Then I discussed about how external motivation is increased, and how internal motivation is affected. Environment and situations play an important role in affecting motivation. And the people who doesn’t get motivated are lacking internal motivation. In this article I will write about how one can get internal motivation and fight inner warrior, the environment which is decreasing one’s internal motivation, and how to change it and rise internal motivation.

Like yesterday, I will write it on basis of examples of my own life experience. So, when you are seeing that your environment is not suitable for you and you won’t be able to follow your passion or dreams there, then the very first step to be taken is to change it. Well, changing environment is good option but that will not give you surety that you will achieve your goals now. Let’s take example to understand it. There is a friend of mine. In his home, there are so much problems mostly financial related to family and income is way too low, so all the time in home there is depression. And due to this depression, everyone is angry most of time and most time there is fight between any two random family members. Now, my friend who  wants to achieve his goals through living in that home. Well, he can  control and try to understand the situation, but as I said in last part, you will get wet in every situation in the water. The important point is how get affected , because that’s the factor affecting your motivation either positively or negatively. So, water is family and home, and it is upto him to make decision and how he motivates himself. He can try solving the problem in the family. If solved successfully, then he can live happily and remember the more happiness creates the  more motivation. A very excited and happy person will work very hard and very efficiently as compared to a sad and depressed person whose mind and heart both are busy and engaged in feelings of the problem. But, if family problem doesn’t get solved, then he can also leave home and live someplace else for a while to get some encouragement to fight. Its like calm before storm or as I always say rest is best for test. But if he can’t leave home, then the most challenging job to do is left and i think that’s the last option he got . That is change the  environment by creating your own environment. To do this, the very first thing he has to do is forget about all the problems and tensions he is facing internally, emotionally, and mentally due to family. I always think that if it seems that solving problem is impossible then  try to forget it for a while and get relax so that you get energy to solve it next time. When he forgets everything, then the next thing he has to do is to create environment which motivates you internally. How can you do this? Well, I think there are lots of methods to do this. What I would say is create such surrounding that you remember every minute that there is nothing to worry and you got no problem at all, and then you have to just relax, and get motivated. Forgetting about problems is not about being careless, it is about getting some rest, encouragement, and motivation. Back to the point, how can we create surrounding that makes us remember that everything is okay and there is nothing to worry. Actually, motivation is a mind game, which we play with our own mind. Our mind tries to think about problems and solutions, and we on other side try to make mind believe that there is nothing to worry. What is need to do this? If our mind is busy in thinking about solutions of other problems, how we are supposed to think on other things. So, to work efficiently on problems, it is quite necessary to relax the mind, so we make fake impression before our mind that there is not any problem to think or worry. How we do this then? Well, its different and unique way for each person in this world. What I did was keep everything which motivates me not only in front of myself but also handy as well. For example, i was working on a game once. It’s been almost 2 weeks, and I was stuck in some serious bugs. I was tired of applying thousands of different solutions and was very demotivated. What I did to rise my motivation was to forget about all the problems. I went to outing, had some fun, went to party, and enjoyed company of friends. Then, I placed all the things which are related to the game in front of my eyes. For example, all the time my PC was on, desktop wallpaper  of PC was snapshot of game. All documents related to game were placed on my bed in hard copy. Days were passing away, and each time i saw these things I got some wave in my mind that i have to finish it. And in few days, I was back at my PC working overnight on the solution of game, and boom boom this time I really solved it. I face these kind of situations a lot of times. What i do is simply create an environment which motivates you. Most importantly, you have to be in fresh mood. For this, I use to ignore the problems for a while, then create the environment. Remember, if you won’t take some time to ignore and get relaxed, and will create environment, then tha environment will make ur worries more. You can even get frustrated. So, rest is really important in this situation.

In conclusion, what I wrote today was about creating the environment. Everyone wants different environment. You have to figure out that what kind of environment motivates you. And then you have to create that environment.

In the next part, I will write about how motivation is affected by emotions like being happy, sad, and so on. And, how can you take advantage of this trick to remain more motivated.

Thanks for reading…

Wajahat Karim

A Journey To Remember

Well, that’s more like 3 days passed without even checking my blog. Writing is far thing. As title states, I was traveling these days. And, I must say that this one is memorable journey of all. You might be wondering whether it was good or bad, I gotta say both…. Haha…. My favourite teacher used to say, A human can’t forget three things in life: his land, his language, and his culture. So, this journey is related to these things. When someone spends long time, in my case 4 years, at someplace. I think that place becomes a new and important part of life then. Then, sometimes you have to leave it, most probably forever, and get back to your old life from where you were come. This was my life. And then suddenly I planned with some of my buddies about getting back to same place for a while and get relaxed mentally by remember old memories. It was 26 hour journey by road in air-conditioning bus. Yeah, i know that’s too much time to sit on a seat. So, I left it at 1600 hrs, and instead of 26 hrs journey it took my 39 hours. That’s very bad. There are these people in this world, who are so much helpless due to hunger of their family and children, that they can’t say truth to someone in fear of losing opportunity of money. When these people are found in trade, then you really should be alert otherwise you can be in serious loss. And, when these people come in travel agencies, then travellers are found in some serious trouble. But, due to traveling, travellers really don’t have any other options left except bearing trouble. That’s what happened with me. At start of journey, roads were blocked mostly due to some reasons and i was 6 hours behind the schedule. So, it was quite difficult though, but time was passing by. And, when bus stepped on clear road, it was being stopped timely to take new passengers. We were already 7 hours late, and authority was making more late by taking passengers, taking food stops and so on. I was getting so much frustrated but I was silent. Even they stopped AC, and it was hot as hell without any water and customer services. Time was passing by. I was supposed to reach before 1800 hrs, and it was 2040 hrs at that time when they stopped bus far from my destination and told to pay back the ticket price. I got angry on hearing this. I told them that what i am supposed to do in this unknown city. To stay a night? Then leave in morning for destination? I mean i had to be in destination at 0900 hrs, and they are saying that they can’t go further. Then, after fighting for a while, there gave me seat in another bus, which was scheduled to leave after 2 hours. I was helpless. I mean what can I do except waiting and leave for destination. That’s not so fair. These people take advantage from passengers’ silence, they know that whatever we do they are helpless. They will yell for a while, then they will do as we say. That’s so much bad and negative thinking of these people. Don’t they have humanity and honesty in their hearts. Then, I left in that coach. During this time, a person like me was with me in this coach. He was shot in leg and had fake artificial leg instead of original. He was cook by profession and used to teach cooking on live television shows. We became very good friends during this 5 hours journey. He wad very disturbed person from his life after getting shot. His wife was asking for divorce from him. And fight was on 4 year only child of them. He shared his experience about he got this situation in his life, and advised some things not to do in life. We really enjoyed each others company. We exchanged each others contacts and promised to be in touch with each other. Well, its so strange that in trouble situations like this, people who suffer same feeling as you become so close and so trusty in very short time. They say right that in difficult time you can recognize someone and know his behavior. It was 0300 hours after 39 journey, when I reached to destination and my very best friend received me and we slept. Next day was awesome. It felt like I am back. I was at this place after so long time. I missed this place so much. I can’t express it in words. I met a very good friend of mine, whom i was in contact via online medium. That was so very good time we spent together. I met some very old friends of mine and some very best students of mine as well… That was totally awesome and busy day. Then, at night I was with my best buddy who received me other night. We used to go on football field and see stars and chat for whole nights. So, that night it was the same we did. We shared each others feelings. Its so good to share with your best buddy who understands you and guides you, then motivates you. Next day, there were a lot of people, with whom I had to meet. But, i have left only 12 hours before I get in coach and go back. So, I called all those friends, a number of 14, to a restaurant and planned a grand lunch. First I thought that hardly any person knows other person, so they will get bored due to new faces. But, when we met and mingled in each others, i couldn’t see that who is new to who. We were talking like we know each others for long time. It was so cool and awesome time we spent with eachother. Every one was thanking eachother and it was time to leave. We got transportation and left each others saying good bye. My 2 friends were with me. They came to coach with me, we exchanged good bye and it was a journey back. This time, it was good travel and no trouble. I got back on time at home. My friend at home said that out of 5 days, you spent 3.5 days traveling, what you got in so short time. You should have gone for atleast a week. I said that that 1 day gave me so much relaxation and piece that i can’t explain in words to you. They say right that you can’t forget your land, your language, and your culture. When you come back to these three things, then you get your life back. Sometimes, we live far from these things, and what we do is memorize our past good days and smile in an strange way to ourselves. Then, we look at present and say what sort of life I am living these days. I am so changed, wish I could go back. Then, you suddenly make plan and go back, and you realize that you aren’t changed at all. Its just the environment which is changed, you are still same old good person. And this feels so good, so much satisfaction, and so much relaxation. That’s why I call it : A Journey To Remember Thanks for reading it.. Regards, Wajahat Karim GamyGuru

Remaining Always Motivated – 1

Hello guys!!!!
Well, i didn’t wanted to miss the day without posting, but I did. Actually, what happens is that you get some responsibility and you are passionate about fulfilling it with your full energy and yes you are doing it as well. Whether you are going great or not great, it really doesn’t affect much. What really affects is your environment. Environment? For an environment engineer, this word describes a very detailed concept. For a middle class non-technical person, this word describes the surrounding where they live, they eat, they study and so on. For a rich person, this word describes the compatibility of the way he sees and thinks of the things and the way other people see and think. Rich persons mostly called as Hi-Fi party, or person etc. Because they think environment as a place where you are exhibited as Hi-Fi. For any IT professional or office working person, environment describes the office and the comfort in office while working. Specifically, for a game designer environment is some level of some game. Haha…. Its lot of examples about environment.

Well, the motivated people or motivation professionals like entrepreneurs who made something big out of nothing or small, artists, musicians, scientists, or what you have picture of that particular person who motivates you, shows path, guide you, and then appreciate you at what you have done, are always say something related to follow your passion, follow your heart,  follow your dreams, achieve your goals, and so on. Even, I use to say these phrases to my students to motivate them. I always thought motivation as trigger to what you do, and the most important part of what you do and why you do. I believe that motivation drives man, but what is it really behind motivation. If you got no motivation for anything, you are not going to do it. Then, how we gotta increase motivation. Because no motivation no driving, and you take stop, you do nothing, you get bored until some motivation affect you. It can be anything like you see something and you want to do it now, or someone shows you direction to follow and so on. See, motivation is of two kinds: internal motivation and external motivation. Something that motivates you externally is external motivation. For example, your teacher shows you some goal to achieve, or tells you about some reward to get, or scare you of some punishment in case of failure etc. Now, this motivation is external but this is taken as default when word motivation is taken. I saw lot of people, who preferably waste their time in useless activities instead of doing something useful. When I try to motivate them, what they say is whats advantage of this, what would happen and so on. And, when I tell them the positive and negative points of it, they compare the results with current situation of their life, and then finally they concludes it like, buddy, i don’t think that’s much of important to do or i don’t think that’s worthy of doing it, or see, its not much advantage, i am good in this situation and blah blah blah.

So, you tell me what you would do to motivate them. Point is that motivation is double edge sword, one edge is internal motivation and other edge is external motivation. We can’t hold the sword without being affected by other edge. One edge will be used to cut or get your goal achieved, but other edge will cut your own hand instead. So, to get your dreams and follow your passion, you must be brave enough to bear both edges. At inspiration videos, lectures, books, examples, we get only is external motivation not internal. And when I say motivation drives man is about internal motivation. The people who doesn’t get motivated as I wrote earlier in this article, these people are not internally motivated.

Question arises is how you get internally motivated. Well, its not an easy task I would say. Its like fighting your inner YOU and winning it. We get internally motivated from birth by our parents, siblings, friends, relationships, culture, environment, most important our lifw experience. For example, son of taxi driver always see taxi as income source and gets motivated to it when he wants income. This is how dreams in our heart arises.

So, if internal motivation comes from birth and life experience, then why and how it ends or fades from our life? And why external motivation doesn’t affect us? Well, answer is simple. The situation. That’s the word. The environment we live and see in our life creates different situations and we face those situations by our wisdom and create life experience for others to learn from. Now, when your environment is not good enough to morivate you internally, then you can’t get your goals. In these type of situations, what I do is to try to not decrease my motivation by keeping regular activities on. Its very hard actually to fight with environment and keeping yourself unchanged. Its like swimming in water without getting wet. You will get wet by water, but point that decides your measure of motivation is how much wet you become. Ofcourse, the more deep you go in water will make you more wet. That means more you mingle in the environment, the more you will be affected by it and so will be your motivation. If you know that your environment is not good or much internally motivational, then what you should do is try to avoid it as much as possible and try to change it as soon as possible. Because if you mingle in these environments, you will become like this. Your thinking will be changed, you will be lost, and you will die from inside. And, then hardly any external motivation will affect you until you make your internal motivation again high.

In a nutshell, try to stay away from bad friends, the people who always take things pessimistically, or the environment where you know you can’t do your things or you can’t follow your dreams or passion.

But, everyone always faces something which he doesn’t want to face. And that makes his life experience and unique among others. But, due to environmental change and affected internal motivation, a less number of persons survive from these situations and win thier goal. In the next article, I will write about how I fought with my internal motivation and environment,  and what methods I learned to fight it, and how I changed my environment, and how I keep my motivation high and getting my dreams true.

Thanks for reading it….

Wajahat Karim

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